.::::.
::So, uh, yeah. Crushes suck.::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/28/2004 08:52:00 PM:.

.::::.
::You are Candace !...thats pretty cool. You have a
great presence and pretty much everyone likes
you. A few freshman may even worship
you...which is creepy but very much a good
thing, so long as it stays non-stalkerish. Its
great how you stay modest, and someone i was
just talking to said candace had a great
aura...so...i guess that means you do too!

You have a wonderful potential and will go far in
life no matter what you are doing.


Which northwest senior are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Wow! Am I surprised... uh, no... hehehehe.::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/28/2004 12:56:00 PM:.
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::I hate riding the bus. Hate hate hate it. In the morning, I must get up much too early... when my mom can drive me, I wake up over an hour later. In the afternoon, I am constantly pestered, particularly by Alec, sometimes by other people. I cannot state enough how much I HATE the bus. And our bus driver.. he doesn't talk... it's weird, and occasionally he will bring his son, who is even more annoying... a little kid, but so annoying. The ride home is worse annoyance wise, but in the morning, I miss that hour of sleep... a lot...
Here ends my rant on hating the bus....
with a final statement:
I HATE THE BUS.::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/26/2004 10:21:00 PM:.
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::Today I was trying to figure something out...
ah, whatever, I'm exhausted, my arm is killing me, I could have got my cell phone back but Mr Grill didn't realise it was me and so did not give it to me, though he had it in his pocket, I'm annoyed, did I say tired... blechy bad mood. Due to complete clumsiness, nearly destroyed my laptop; due to complete stupidity, messed up lots today...
Goodnight. ::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/25/2004 10:02:00 PM:.
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::Why do I feel like, despite my efforts, I'm hitting a brick wall?
I put so much effort into making a step forward, and I seem to slide back.
And then there's the doubt, the distrust in self, that prevents further confiding, further prying, further effort.... there's that distancing almost imperceptible, could it be only in my imagination or is it out there? Am I as annoying as my constant reflection on things said in the past seems to show?
It'd be so much easier if I could hate you. But I don't. I can't.::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/23/2004 08:53:00 PM:.
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::http://us.share.geocities.com/snicket_lovers/wevegotlove2.wav
I just found something that made me reminiscent and cheered me up greatly. I need to write a letter to my bestest Pennsylvanian friend Amanda Cronce. I miss Pennsylvania... how weird is that, it was a couple years ago... I wish my mini-disc player still worked, I have a mini-disc of pennsylvania stuff I want to transfer to the computer. One is the full file of the song link I listed. I wish I could listen to it again... but this is pretty close... it's a cute song... so typical of my 12 year old self to write a song about characters in a book. Well, so typical of my self now, except that I haven't the time to write songs anymore. The day we recorded this, it was in the morning and Amanda had this fluish bronchitis... yet she still sounds better than me in the recording (I was 12, but so was she, so I wonder if she can still sing now)... I also wish I could sing really well...
I can't, but I still like to do it.
http://us.share.geocities.com/snicket_lovers/wevegotlove2.wav is my song now, my mottoish song, not the lyrics but the spirit of the thing, the era of my life in which it was recorded, the things I no longer have but wish I did, everything to do with it, really.
Despite feeling young all the time now, I wish I was back in Pennsylvania, 12 years old, when I knew things and trusted people, and didn't have to turn my head to look towards the good things in life. There was nothing bad to block my view.::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/22/2004 09:11:00 PM:.

.::::.
::No. GHHHHHHH. They can't do that. It's ILLEGAL.
Terry Whatever-your-last-name-is, I hate you. Hate you with a passion.
I don't feel like going into personal family stuff on a blog.
But I want to fly to Maryland or wherever this guy lives and give him... something. Whatever he deserves.
Like bankruptcy... he deserves bankruptcy above all else...
::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/22/2004 07:09:00 PM:.

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::You think that I go home at night
Take off my clothes, turn out the lights
But I burn letters that I write
To you, to make you love me

Yeah, I drive naked through the park
And run the stop sign in the dark
Stand in the street, yell out my heart
To make, to make you love me

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho

You may not believe in me
But I believe in you
So I still take the trash out
Does that make me too normal for you?

So dig a little deeper, cause
You still don't get it yet
See me lickin' my lips, need a primitive fix
And I'll make, I'll make you love me

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess

See me jump through hoops for you
You stand there watching me performing
What exactly do you do?
Have you ever thought it's you that's boring?
Who the hell are you?

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho (repeat)

Extraordinary, Liz Phair


::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/22/2004 03:20:00 PM:.
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::Yesterday was Jesse's party. It was a lot of fun. I had what I'm quite sure is the most expensive birthday gifts I've ever recieved, from my parents at least. They usually spend $100, $200 at the most. This year, my gigantic suitcase (to bring all my junk to Germany) cost $100... and on top of that, I got a hand-me-down cell phone (call me! If you don't know the number... ask me in person), a nice digital camera, and a mini iPod. I'm positively thrilled, and have spend multiple hours already on all my gadgets, transferring some of my cds to the iPod, taking pictures using the phone at Jesse's party, etc.

Of course, within 24 hours of having the phone, I lost it. So, I went out looking in the rain, assisted by Jesse and Liz and Nick with a camera... and was feeling quite idiotic for having lost it, but was highly entertained with running around in the rain screaming... the Blair Witch project.... *laughs*

My brother just showed me a hilarious Garfield comic. Jon had extremely knotty, messy hair. He says, "I'm using a new shampoo." Garfield looks.... waits... and says, "As what?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, despite being my birthday, was a somewhat envious day, but also a great day. But I tend to have a lot of those.

I might get to shadow Rick for a week this summer, which would be really, really cool. I hope I can.::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/21/2004 06:03:00 PM:.
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::Today was fun, until I got home from babysitting and my father succeeded in making me feel like crap in about 2 minutes. I am too stressed, if I stop to think about it. So I don't. I'm optimistic and focus on the good stuff. The funny stuff. Which is why I laugh too much, I guess... but it's so much better than the bad stuff.

Why is Alec being so bad? It scares me...

Why do we have to rewrite those stupid APUSH book reports?

When will I pick up a copy of White Noise and begin to read? No idea...

How can Megan know so much... ruling her own world and not even nine... she's got power. It's crazy.

How come my day seems ruined, life seems blah, when tomorrow's my birthday?

Sometimes things suck.::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/19/2004 08:27:00 PM:.
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::That response was completely unexpected... I was thinking that, well, I have a lot of things I'd never say directly to the person, but I really want to tell them. Several people. That first sentence was vague, but I don't know that the meaning would come across in any other way.
Well, Dolly is done. That's both sad, and better- I will have time to think again. But I won't have that feeling of community I had during and after every show.
I need to get back to my writing. I haven't worked on Enchantesia in the longest time. It's disappointing. And I've done no political writings.
It's my birthday on Saturday. I think about it a lot, for some reason, but I'm not really looking forward to it like I usually am. Well, until Jesse invited me on my birthday to her birthday party, which is somewhat ironic, but sounds like much fun.
I'm exhausted, and I must finish The Da Vinci Code- I started it at contest today, and have about 15 pages left, and it was so hard to put it down.::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/18/2004 09:55:00 PM:.
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::I've seen this done on other blogs and I felt like doing it myself.

Leave an anonymous comment.

'Anonymous' is the key.::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/14/2004 08:53:00 PM:.
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::Today was a blast.

I love acting. I love musical theatre. I love singing.

I wrote on everyone's mirrors. Nice things, of course. It was fun.

This morning, I had a blast. With the small exception of Ms Franceze (spelling?) saying, at around 9.00, "Oh Allison, how nice of you to join us," I had a really fun time.. all day. I feel like such a hopeless optimist, because the whole time we were directionally confused, I thought it was funny. I'm seriously directionally challenged. If anyone ever gives me a ride, don't expect me to have the slightest idea where I'm going unless I've gone the same route, oh, 75 or 80 times. But I can say that no matter where I end up (*cough* when my dad was going back to Michigan and somehow ended up in the middle of Kentucky) I won't be mad, in fact probably quite the opposite. Which, actually, is probably really annoying. But hey, its better to be positive than negative, right?

Slouching around in the chairs and couches in Caribou while discussing completely trivial subjects, and eating chocolate... it's very relaxing. There are few single, straight guys in Northwest, it seems, and particularly not in the cast of Hello, Dolly, in which only four guys are straight. Not that there's anything wrong with not being straight, but being a junior in high school and having few guys with eligibility is... unusual. This shows quite a bit of what I mean by "completely trivial subjects". Does it really matter if I'm single or not? Well.... not really.

Something MO said about my act is that it's easy for me to become the 'invisible person'. Hmmm... there are times when I'm sure I'm invisible, or my true intentions are invisible, or my cover is invisible, and there are times like right now when I'm just thrilled to be alive and so happy I'm surrounded with such great people. Days when I just want to go, Thank you, world. But there's still that hint of unfittingness, invisibility, I guess. I just choose not to dwell my thoughts on it.

It's not going to be fun, getting back in a school routine again.

But hey, my birthday's next Saturday. The 20th. First day of spring- I've always liked that.

~hyper-theatrical-crazy~::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/12/2004 11:41:00 PM:.
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::I'm exuberantly happy right now for no real reason at all. Suzie and I were 'bad kids' yesterday for the first, and probably last time ever, which was somewhat exciting and daring, which was kind of silly as it wasn't that big a deal.
Our first actual show today didn't work out well at all. It was... eh... odd.
A group of theatre people is actually a great place to be when you've had a long day... I was so exhausted I could hardly fake the energy onstage, but a few people were just nice, and that was... nice. Niceness has an 'aww' factor that makes me particularly endeared to people. It's just... nice. Is there really another word for it? People tell me I'm nice, but I really never haved been a 'nice person'- not rude, never rude (I can't stand rude), but I never have been 'nice'. I take it as a compliment, as I think it's meant to be one, but it's odd when several people tell you you are something you never thought you were. (There's a hint of confusing ramble in that sentence, but does it matter?)

you are aqua #00FFFF

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well. Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

I like that. I like to think of myself that way. Of course, I was and am in an enthusiastic, optimistic mood-
OH! THE FULL MONTY PEOPLE ARE COMING TO TALK TO US!!!! AND WATCH OUR SHOW!!! WOW!!!!!!
(I just had to say that.. I'm so excited about it)
-so that may have affected my results. But that's really true.
I'm excited about tonight. I'm excited about tomorrow. I'm excited about Congress-Bundestag. I am, as Alan would put it, 'sickeningly optimistic', and I'm happy. Is there anything better than feeling truly confident, optimistic, and happy?
It's actually not that uncommon, for me.... but it's the best feeling in the world, I'm sure...::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/11/2004 02:44:00 PM:.
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::I've been accepted to Congress-Bundestag. That means I am going to Germany July 31. Whoa.

I have had Dolly rehearsal crazily- tomorrow I'm leaving school at 12.15, and Wednesday skipping Chemistry because Suzanne is leaving early (she has no 6th period class that day) and going to PAC for super-long rehearsal...

And Liz and Val (and Nick with Liz's) were reading these hilarious romance novels. People genuinely like these things? HAHAHA! It was probably the best event of today, sitting outside eating a brownie while laughing my head off at Nick reading about pinching nipples and stuff. Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! *laughs hysterically*
(That was my bright point of the day. Interesting day I'm sure...)

No homework, save for small amount of English which I'll probably finish in the morning, because I want to go upstairs, turn on my music loud, and enjoy having free time. Play the piano some. A little spontaneous composing based on my happy mood.::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/08/2004 08:43:00 PM:.
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::Tired. Should be working on very easy APUSH book review. And felt like blogging, and paralleling/stealing Nick's 'points' (and Simon's paralleling idea).

Point One: My week of non-sleep has finally caught up with me, particularly that related to the Absalom, Absalom MWDS, and I thought I was going to pass out at rehearsal...

Point Two: I. Hate. School. Hours. (And Chemistry. And super-long rehearsals with super-annoying trumpets. To quote Marc, "Kill Gil, part 1".)

Point Three: I hate being jealous. So, so, SO much.

Point Four: I feel...not like crying, but as if I need to completely release every emotion I have, which seem to get too jumbled up mixed extremey... I'm so happy or so sad or so jealous and always completely exhausted... When Dolly is over, though it has its fun moments, and I don't have any major assignments due, I'm going to take one day to go to bed really early and read The Westing Game or some sort of comfortbook, and just relax. Ah... my írimolos.

Point Five: I hate either riding home on the bus and getting home late, or being picked up from rehearsal late, and getting home even later.

Point Six: I wanted to give MO an enormous hug today, for no particular reason, or maybe because it was really nice to get my act done. I really had no idea what it would be and it took her about 30 seconds to get to it.

Point Seven: Ugh...okay, I know what my point seven is, I just can't admit it because I sound really.... erm.... I just don't want to say it publicly. Besides the selfishness of it.::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/04/2004 11:23:00 PM:.
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::Just noticed something completely random- on that thing on the top of my blog with the ads, it says, "Related searches: blog, weasel". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! 'weasel'!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know why it's so funny. It just is.. okay?

Book review is not due until the end of the week now. Yay. That gives me time to think about something other than Gettysburg tonight, and to work more on MWDS. I went to REALife tonight, which I still find much too superficial for a church activity. Rather disappointing as well as someone who used to devote a lot of time to me has started to completely ignore me, and though he wasn't my best friend, and I might not exactly have responded well to him... it is still disappointing. Sad. Though it may or may not have had to do with me, I'm convinced I did something wrong... I'm asking myself why I even care, but I most certainly do. Whether I want to or not. And there is someone else I'm concerned I'm distancing. Although I talked to one of my old best friends in Michigan and realised something... Brett, I love you for this... When I'm somewhere or talking to someone I feel completely comfortable with, I am quite different than I am on, say, the average school day. Deanna and Alyssa too- I talk to you guys and I am making funny jokes and talking offhandedly about personal things without really... thinking about it, and I'm confident and randomweird and more Allison than I'm used to being. I thought I was changing but after such conversations as that I feel myself slipping back into my old role of self, something that seems more comfortable and happy than the quiet, daydreamy self I find in North Carolina. I am both more self and less self. I am the old Michigan me. And you know what?
*laughs* It rocks.

~*~You mean everything to me... it is you that makes my life worth living.~*~::

.:Arakatze blogged on 3/01/2004 10:43:00 PM:.
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