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::I'm busy being confused by, baffled by, and completely avoiding thought and emotion. Sometimes I hate being a teenager. It makes no sense, all of it, no sense at all. Only Deanna, and possibly Alyssa, knows what I'm talking about, and I'm keeping it that way, however, it has to do with confusing, I-don't-want-it-CP-ness.

When your emotions are going haywire and you refuse to admit it to yourself, you end up in a tough position of wanting to scream and pull your hair out, or work quietly on something calm and peaceful-writing in a notebook. Working on Enchantesia. Talking to friends.

Although that is in a way where the... issue originated.

Just realised the 'issue' is starting to have real negative connotations in this context. It's not that way at all. Almost the opposite. Exactly the opposite. Nothing like the opposite.
To explain the whole thing on a blog would- first, open up the whole thing to someone who may know of this address that I don't know knows (not to mention who would critique my horrid use of grammer in that sentence), second, would open it up for discussion between people I've not decided should know the source of my confusion, and lastly, would be a source of criticism from people who think it's as ridiculous as I think it is.

On an entirely different note, I'm getting braces on Tuesday. The worst thing is, I'm starting to view it as a good thing. I know on Tuesday, I will be thinking exactly the opposite as I spend hours with my mouth wide open, getting small metal objects and wires attached to my teeth as my mouth slowly comes completely devoid of moisture. And, of course, I will be in pain. However, the sooner they are on, the sooner they are off. Maybe I will spend my senior year, in Germany, with braces, however, I will NOT have to still wear them by the time I'm in college, which would be not only a social issue, but also something that would make me seem so much younger.

It's 11, I really shouldn't be on the computer anyway, but for some reason I felt compelled to because I could. My laptop is still (auf Deutsch) kaputt, but I'm getting used to the less frequent, more public use of the family computer. I am not used to the hurricanish, thunderish sound the keyboard makes when I start typing at regular speed. One thing about being a fast typer that really, really bugs me is AIM. I start typing, sending random comments to a few random people, but I send them off so frequently that AIM runs out of those little annoying bars on the bottom and it will keep me from messaging anyone for a few short-but-forever, minutes.

And now it's time to go.

~Arakatze::

.:Arakatze blogged on 1/16/2004 11:19:00 PM:.
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