.::::.
::I am so majorly pissed right now I want to scream, throw something, break some glass and create a massive racket.
Yeah, so on top of all the other reasons I have way too much stress right now, prom will no longer be my relaxation.
And why?
Because I CAN'T GO TO THE POST-PROM PARTY.
And why is that?
Somehow my mom cares now that it's actually at a guy's house. It was fine to all stay the night over at Liz's house. Guys included. But now, oh no.... I can't go, and if I can, I have to leave before the party's really begun. So despite all the stuff I was going to do Saturday before rushing to prom... the stuff expressly wished for by my mother who is making me do it despite the fact I strongly don't want to... oh, and she has to blame it on me too, that she'll be coming and picking me up 'so late' (even though it's not late at all compared to... well... the night) after driving me around town all day!! Yeah, I really WANT to go to this english class and because I really WANT to sit at driver's ed and I really WANT all this pressure on me and absolutely no free time at all. Yeah, that's how I WANT my quickly dwindling time in Charlotte to be spent. And something that's relaxing for once- nope, can't do that either.
AAAHHHH.
Someone call me if you read this. I don't care who. Cell phone because house phone is a bad idea at this time... I need to just rant on and on in anger because this just..... just magnifies what I'm having to do now.
Stress is ridiculous.
Maybe I'll postpone driver's ed until summer.
Today is the first time I've truly sobbed.... for about as far back as I can remember. I hate getting emotional. It's just that... everything is tightening in on me and I have a million things to do and literally no time to do them. I have more stress than anyone should have... and I usually deal with stress. Not like this.
Ok, I'm done now.


Oh, and the choir thing tonight was fun. Singing in a small group is great. I had a solo :-). It just wasn't until I talked to my mom afterwards that I got so upset............

And really what a dumb entry this seems, as I check it over before I post it. Just................. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Someone please come open this tiny box that my life is in right now and let me breathe again. Take the world off my shoulders for a bit.
Relaxation. That's something that I might have heard of, once, in a fairy tale.
::

.:Arakatze blogged on 4/30/2004 10:34:00 PM:.
...